Comment Wall

Please feel free to leave your comments about my project here! Thank you!



Funko Pop of Luke on Endor

Link to my Storybook: Weapons in Star Wars

Comments

  1. Hi Jackie! Wow! Your project is so creative. I love that you took the time to incorporate two totally different things, Star Wars and Indian Epics, into a harmonious story. I wonder are you a big fan of star wars? Celestial weapons are immediately interesting and cool so I think you picked a great topic that will draw in a large audience. Also you have lots of room to be creative and make your stories anything you want. The pictures that you included, along with the overall theme of the blog, really go well with a celestial weapons/Star Wars theme. I think if you could include some of the bad guys from the Ramayana or Mahabharata it would be cool to see the two worlds overlap even more! Overall I think that you have started off this project very strong and I look forward to seeing the end result!

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    1. Hi Hannah, thank you for your feedback on my project! I am a HUGE fan of Star Wars, I'm going to see the new on in December when it releases. Thank you so much for your kind feedback. Oooh, I did not think of including some of the villains from the Ramayana or Mahabharata. I think that could be a very interesting addition to my stories. I hadn't planned on doing that, but it could be possible to weave some of those characters in there. There are so many different beings in the Star Wars universe, a character like Ravana wouldn't look out of place haha! Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions.

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  2. Jackie, this is such a fun project idea! I never would have thought to combine these two ideas, but you’re making it work so well! I’m glad to see there’s someone else doing a project on weapons in Indian mythology. I’m really interested to see where your project goes! You’ve outlined it well, so far! I’m a huge fan of Pushpatastra and Pinaka. I can’t wait to see how this all unfolds! There’s so much room in modern pop culture for overlap with mythology, much like what you’re doing. Your web layout is also well designed and nice to look at! I’m really looking forward to seeing where you take this. I wish I had some feedback for you, but right now you really have so much room to play with creatively. I think as long as you’re incorporating both worlds, you’ll have a stellar project! Best of luck to you and fantastic job!

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  3. Hi Jackie! This is such a cool idea! I love that you are combining Star Wars with Indian mythology -- two topics that are seemingly very different, buy you make them work together really well. I also really like that you are taking locations, characters, and conflicts from the movies and incorporating the Indian weapons without interrupting the overarching story of Star Wars. Each of your stories could have conceivably taken place during the times in the movies which we didn't see on screen. While the Indian mythological stories took place on Earth and Star Wars was in a galaxy far, far away, both are from 'a long time ago'! Also, I think it's really cool that you included the Star Wars theme on your introduction page. Something that would be really cool to do with this (if you have the tech knowledge; I sure don't) would be to get the theme to play when the page opens. Overall, I love the Star Wars movies and I am really impressed by this idea, really, and I can't wait to read your storybook!

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  4. Hi Jackie. First off, this idea is AWESOME! I never would have thought to mix elements of Indian mythology with Star Wars, but the idea of dropping magical weapons from the ancient myths into this space fantasy is just too perfect. How did you decide on these specific weapons? Was there something about them that you thought would fit well into the Star Wars mythos? I really like how you are going to place each weapon in a different point during the time of the original trilogy. Was there any specific motivation behind your setting choices? One suggestion, you might consider adding a link to your Comment Wall on each page of your project. That will make it easier for your readers to leave you feedback (and yes I realize that this actually sounds really lazy on my part but I do think it would be a positive addition to your site).

    Finally I've got to ask...did Han shoot first? This is a very important question, in my humble opinion, when it comes to Star Wars.

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    1. Hi Dave! Thank you for your kind feedback. Honestly Laura gave me a list of weapons and I kind of went through them and picked ones I thought were interesting. One of the bows is in the Ramayana, so I liked that one because I know something about it. I appreciate your suggestion about the Comment Wall, I may go back and add the link to each page, it could make make it easier for people. And to answer your question about Star Wars... Han shot first. :)

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    2. Dave, as per your suggestion a link to my comment wall is now in the footer of every page! Should have easy access to it now.

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  5. Jackie, your topic is out of this world! Sorry, is that too cheesy? I'm so glad to see you've turned your love for the Star Wars saga into inspiration for your Storybook! I recall reading your Introduction and learning what a fan you are of the fantasy series. Really, though, the topic of celestial weapons gives you a lot of creative license and I can see how you can pull from either the Star Wars or the Indian Epics universe in a multitude of ways for a very fantastical, immersive experience. Also, as someone who is largely unfamiliar with Star Wars I think you've done a stellar (sorry, I can't stop with these) job at describing the events in such detail to combat any confusion a newbie might have with places, names, or situations. Please continue to do that! Lastly, I love how you embedded a video of the very iconic soundtrack. I wonder how many Storybooks in the past have had this? You might be a trailblazer in that regard! What little I know about the Intro to the movies is the scrolling text backed by this song. That said, I would suggest looking into Twine since I think if you incorporated this interactive tool it could really mimic the experience of that classic and dramatized reading that (I think? Tell me if I'm wrong) is part of every Star Wars movie! Wonderful start!

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  6. Hey Jackie! I really enjoyed the idea of writing your storybook about Star Wars. I've never seen the movies, so if any of my feedback about plot seems questionable, please take that fact into consideration. From what I know of Star Wars, I am sure that you will really, really be able to run with this idea of tying Indian mythology into the plot of Star Wars. Here are some of my feedback ideas I came up with:
    (1) Your opening sentence did not flow very well. It appears that you attempted to revise the sentence, but then forgot to delete a word or two. I do this all the time too and it can be tricky to catch as your brain reads what it wants to read. I'd consider revising the sentence after the "Han, Luke, and Leia" part.
    (2) I love that you're tying the weapons into the movies, but I wonder if there is any way to smoothly bring more plot over from Indian mythology? Perhaps consider adding that the spaceships are Vimanas (flying chariots such as the Pushpaka Vimana in the Ramayana), rakshasas from the stories as antagonists, or meshing the plots of Star Wars and the Ramayana (for example, Ravana and Darth Vader characters are meshed into one character?)

    This is a great start to your storybook, and I am excited to read more of your stories in the future!

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  7. Hey Jackie! I'm really excited about your storybook. I really think it's a wonderful idea and I'm so curious to see all the stories you're going to write. I also can tell how much thought and effort you've put into these stories and the connections you're going to make with them, so that's really exciting as well. I really like your homepage and the picture you've chosen to be your websites background. I think it really does an amazing job pulling the theme together and really is a pretty picture. My one suggestion for the introduction is to talk about the weapons more. Most people reading the stories are going to understand Star Wars and the characters and will be able to figure out the plot once they read the story. I think if you focus on the weapons more, it'll help people understand the connections you're trying to make in the myth. Other than that I'm excited to read your stories and love how you included the Star Wars theme to your introduction!

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  8. Hey Jackie! We’ve established that we’re doing similar topics, so I’ll probably be popping in here from time to time to see what you’re up to! To be clear, this is about Episode 1. I like the addition of Ravana here! He’s such a good villain and works nicely with the other characters. I still think it’s neat how you decided to overlap Star Wars and Indian epics… so fun. I think we really get to see that here. I liked the action here with the Trishula. I think it would be interesting to incorporate its own history into the universe that you’re setting it in, if at all possible. Perhaps that’s where you’re going with it? I don’t know! I’m interested in seeing how they will use it in the future. I can tell that you’re having a lot of fun writing this, it makes reading it all the more fun too!

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  9. Hi Jackie, I have to admit. I have never seen Star Wars. Any of them. However, I have played all of the star wars lego video games so I consider myself an expert on all things Star Wars (this is a lie). Still, I really enjoyed your story! Ravana is one of my favorite characters in Indian lore so any story with him included gets a major boost! It's incredibly well written and flows nicely for the reader. I wonder if Ravana would chase them down, perhaps reappearing in different episode? Either way, well done. Your introduction page with the music is super fun and creative! One suggestion would be to center the text as it is done in the movies, perhaps even changing the theme to get yellow text on a black background. As well, the cover page picture could be a bit higher resolution, but not a big deal! This is really a great job and I love it!

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  10. Hey Jackie,

    I want to start off by saying that you have one of the most interesting themes in portraying Indian Epics via your own storybook. It is really refreshing to read your introduction that features the parallel themes found in the epics and Star Wars. I appreciate the unique touch of including the famous Star Wars theme song within your introduction. The theme song really dramatizes the overall theme. One suggestion I may give is that you could probably explain the mythological weapons more in the introduction page. I look forward to reading your rendition of Star Wars and Indian mythology.

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  11. Hey Jackie,

    I am very intrigued by your storybook. I did not get the chance to read the Episode 1, but based on your introduction I can tell how your stories are going to go. I was born and raised on Star Wars so I know all the stories. As a lot of Star Wars focuses on weapons I can easily see this being a great topic for Indian Epics. Though while I remember a lot of weapons in the series, I do not remember any particular weapons. I think this will be very interesting to associate the weapons I have read in this class to stories I grew up with. It was not very clear reading your introduction, but will you be focusing on the weapons themselves, or on the stories behind finding the weapons? I think either choices would be great. I am excited to read a few of your stories to see how they turn out.

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  12. Hi Jackie.
    I really enjoyed your story that you created. I think it was very clever that you made up the whole thing and added so much detail to your work so great job on that! You're a great story teller and have a gift of creativity. I think your story flows really well, and you included aspects from this class. I personally have not seen any star wars but i feel you story made me capture the essense of the relationship between the characters. I wonder if you could mix up the story a little a throw in something that is unexpected from the characters of the story line. I know your story is focusing mainily on the weapons so i would like to see a little more emphasis on that theme. Or maybe you could give more of a backgroud to each weapon and where it came from. Other than that, I think your story line has lots of potential.

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    1. Hi Jenny, thank you so much for you kind comments. I'm enjoying writing for this project and I think it translates into how I write. You make good suggestions about how I can make it better, thank you! I'll think on your suggestions and see what I can do.

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  13. Hi, Jackie! First off, I absolutely LOVE the fact that you included the theme music in your introduction for the reader to listen to while they read! That is the best thing I have ever seen!! I also thought it was interesting that you chose to focus on the weapons used throughout the Indian Epics. This is such an interesting topic and not one that is focused on a lot. It is also the perfect topic for a Star Wars themed storybook! In regards to Episode I, I thought your story flowed very nicely. Your use of dialogue was very well done and I thought you did a wonderful job of thoroughly painting the characters and the story. I liked that you incorporated Ravana into the story book. I wonder if there are any other characters that you could incorporate into the story? Ravana’s demon sister, Soorpanaka, might also make for a fun villain. Also, I would love to hear more about the Trishula! I wonder if it might be possible to give the weapon a little bit more of a monologue? Just enough for it to explain itself and where it comes from. Overall though, I thought you have some really great material, and I am so excited to read more!

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  14. Hello Jackie,
    I want to start off by saying I like the way your website looks. I think it fits with the central theme. I also really like the images you used. I liked the way you structured your introduction. I think it helps people that are not knowledgeable on Star Wars can still be able to understand the stories that are to come. I also like the way your introduction is structured! The beginning got me with the same words that pop up when u watch the movie. I like the way your story flows. I also like the interaction between the characters. I feel as though this is more how siblings would act than in the movie. I liked the way your first story was almost completely original. It is a combination of a few things that interest you put together. Well done! I look forward to reading more!

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  15. Hey Jackie!
    First of all, I want to mention how much I love the theme of your project. I am a huge Star Wars fan I think this is a very creative take on the Ramayana. I think this theme of your Storybook will be fun and exciting to read because of how many different ways you can take on your stories ideas. Since this was the first time I have come across your page I first began by reading your introduction. I thought your introduction was well written and gave me a great summary of what you were planning on doing with each episode. I think the way you laid out the idea behind each episode helped me understand where your story was going to be heading. I also loved your storybook layout. I think the Star Wars music playing while I was reading the intro was very clever. The website also looks very neat and polished. Overall, great job! I look forward to reading all of the episodes ahead.

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  16. Hi Jackie!
    I admit, I am NOT a huge Star Wars fan. I've never even made it through a full movie. However, I know small bits due to others, and I love your creativity. I wouldn't even imagine any way to combine Star Wars with the celestial instruments. I like that your introduction laid out the plan for the 3 stories so the readers know what to expect. The image you chose with it also helped set the scene/ideas. How will everything be tied together? I can't wait to find out. I then moved to Episode One (clever name). I love the details you went into, like incorporating the music. What is Mom Eisley? Is it like a city, or like a building of some sort? I don't know enough to follow that until it said cantina a few lines further down. It would also be helpful to describe what the humanoid figure looks like. I really appreciated pulling Ravana in. I thought it was a creative way to pull everything together. I wonder how Ravana had the Trishula to begin with, or if it just appeared to Luke. I can't wait to see more.

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  17. Hey Jackie!

    I have already commented on your introduction and overall layout, so this comment is going to be on your first story. It may be difficult for me to get the full length out of the comment because there is not much negative things I have to say. It was basically a perfect story. The way you tied both characters from star wars and characters from Indian Epics was amazing. I love that they fit well with each other and did not feel out of place. Even picturing Luke Skywalker hold a trident instead of a lightsaber was completely okay with me. Your dialog was great and the flow of the story never had a moment that ruined it for me. I may be bias because I grew up with watching Star Wars, but it was a great story. The only thing that may trip some people up is the fact that not everyone would know these characters from Star Wars so it may be a bit confusing to them.

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  18. Hey Jackie! This week Professor Gibbs mentioned that we should take a look at the overall design of a project, so that's where I am going to start. I really like your homepage. The banner looks great, and the text is very easy to read on the dark background. I also really like that you named your stories "Episode I" and "Episode II" to fit in with your storybook's theme.
    Next, I read your stories for Episode I and II and here are the comments on them. First, I really enjoy that you included so much dialogue in your stories. It leads to easier, more entertaining reading. I have never seen Star Wars, but your writing has made me a little interested in watching. At one point late in the story, you accidentally say "Thrishula" instead of Trishula. The other thing was that I am not very familiar with characters from Star Wars. Are the characters in your story supposed to be the characters from Indian epics projected into the Star Wars universe? I think it would be helpful to introduce the characters at some point on your website.

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  19. Hi Jackie!
    Focusing on design elements, the overall layout of your page looks great! Your main site title at the top left nicely conveys your topic, and the titles for the page links at the top right are very fitting for your Star Wars theme.

    I love that you have music from the Star Wars movies for us to listen to as we read your stories! It might be convenient to have the videos at the top of the page so that we don’t have to scroll to the bottom then back up to the top again. I feel like the scrolling slightly interrupts the flow of the page. It might be more smooth to have “below is the music…”, then the video directly below it, then the story starting right below the video. If having the video at the top is too distracting, maybe there is a way to make the embedded video size smaller, or even just the audio. The video at the bottom doesn’t really bother me, but I think the music adds a lot to the story and people are more likely to use this feature if it is more prominent on the page.

    For Episode I & II, it seems like the pictures are strategically placed at that point in the story, but if not, having the picture right after or right before the “Some time later” might help emphasize the change in setting. If the images are strategically placed, it might help to add another space before and after the “some time later” line to further distinguish it from narration. The italics work nicely, but it might add some drama if the change in setting is visually represented with some space.

    I like the expanded title for Episode I and hope that you eventually give Episode II one as well! Overall, your storybook looks great and I feel like I am traveling through time and space with the characters!

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  20. Hey Jackie! I love the creativity you're putting into your Storybook, by writing the stories entirely yourself, and I love your passion for it, which is evident in the stories and particularly in your Author's Note. I really like the images you've chosen throughout--keeping the header the same and then changing the images within seems to be working well for your design. I think it would be helpful if the image of the dunes maybe had something resembling the compound that they end up in, or some other sign of life in them, because the image makes it feel like they're the only ones there, but in the next sentence they go into a compound.

    Also, I'm glad you had Luke use the weapon he got during the first story in the second one, I like the continuity with that. One thing to maybe watch out for is I feel like it's easy to spend too much time on the setup, and then all the action of the story happens in the last couple of paragraphs. I could see why that may be necessary at the beginning because you're still trying to introduce us to the characters and such, but maybe you could make the focus of your third story being really action-packed, or reaching the main event a bit earlier in the story so that we can read a little bit more about the aftermath/wrap-up rather than the story ending immediately after that.

    Overall, your storybook was really fun to read, and I'm excited to see how it finishes up!

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  21. Hi Jackie! I commented on your project at the very beginning, so it was really fun for me to come back to your page and see how far you have come! I really liked how each of the episodes in your story have a very distinct setting, but are all tied in nicely with the celestial weapons and star wars themes. I have to say that episode II is my favorite. I really enjoyed the traveling to a new planet that the group did. I also liked how they thought in the beginning that they knew what they were up against but in the end it was something different entirely. I really like how creative each story is, it is so fun to read. I really enjoyed the whole theme all together. You really made your storybook something that was interesting to you and managed to tie it back into indian epics. I am really glad that I ended up getting to read your storybook. I hope you have a great rest of the semester!

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  22. Hi Jackie, I can't believe I forgot about this project! I remember reading Episode I and thinking it was amazingly written and provided enough foreshadowing to set up the next scenes; it is nice having several more parts ready to read! I don't really know much about the Star Wars universe, and what I do know comes from the Lego Star Wars video games! With that being said, I think you chose great scenes to translate into your storybook; the Ewok's forest is a realistic (I guess as real as you can get) setting for a rakshasa to live! I wonder what the Ewoks have been doing to stave off the rakshasas before the rebels were there? I know you mentioned traps in the forest, but it seems the Ewoks are still ill-prepared for a threat like this. It takes a lightsaber to even kill them; the blasters were barely doing any damage! Either way, I loved the story and can't wait to see more of it!

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  23. Hello Jackie!
    As a true Star Wars fan I really fell in love with your storybook. I truly enjoyed every detail of it. I found it especially clever how you titled each of your stories in "Episode" form. You chose the same layout style as I did for my storybook. I found that this layout is super user friendly and aesthetically pleasing. I really liked the use of videos and images you used in your storybook in order to really tie your stories together.You also did a good job of spacing out your paragraphs in your stories so you information was easily absorbed by your readers. I also think that your author's notes provide sufficient background information about the stories you drew your inspiration from. Overall, I feel like you did a great job on creating a wonderful storybook that can be enjoyed even by individuals who tragically might not be into Star Wars.

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  24. Hey Jackie! This is my third time commenting on your wall but you do not know that! Due to a technical issue on my side none of my comments have been posting. Which is a bummer because I really have enjoyed your storybook. So I will try my best to recap what they were!
    I really like your story book for two reasons. One I am a star wars nerd and your passion and enthusiasm in the topic of Star Wars shows through and it is awesome! It is always easier to write on a topic that you are passionate about. And secondly your integration of the epics into the already epic stories of Star Wars is a great mix! I said in an earlier comment (that you cant see :( sadly) was that George Lucas when writing Star Wars took inspiration from Greek epics and other epic like tales to help tell his story of Star Wars! Your overall website and theme is fantastic and I have greatly enjoyed reading your storybook over the past couple of weeks. Your integration of the weapons into Star Wars rather than re-writing an Indian Epic is a nice change of pace! Great work!!!

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  25. Hi Jackie. I had to come back to your Storybook one last time before the end of the semester to see how the celestial weapons fared in a galaxy far, far away. "Episode I:Return to Tatooine" was awesome! You really nailed the characters of Han, Luke, and Leia perfectly! I could hear their voices in my head while reading your story. "Episode II: The Race for the Supernatural Death Star" was another joy to read and I love how you tied in the element from the first story into the second one. And finally "Episode III: A Very Special Bow" was yet anther treat! I loved the inclusion of Shiva at the end. You've really structured all of these stories just like something from the SW cannon (or the old Expanded Universe). Have you read any of the Star Wars books? Have you been watching The Mandalorian? I've heard it's awesome. I was a huge Star Wars fan about 15 years ago and have read probably close to 40 of the older books.

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  26. Hi Jackie!

    This is my first time reading your blog, but I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
    The introduction page is very clean. I like the music you chose to go with it. It’s very fitting since it’s a synopsis of the stories you can have the theme song there. I also liked how your paragraphs were broken down into what each story would be about.
    For Episode I (Great way to name them this by the way. Would have been funny to do Episode IV as well) I thought the story was easy to read and enjoyable. You used some really good descriptions to let the reader know what the characters looked like and how they were feeling. You also mixed in some dialogue there so you can imagine in your head what the conversation would look like. When you did your “scene” change, I pictured it exactly like in the movies. That made me smile!
    Overall, I think you did a great job putting these stories together!

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  27. Hey Jackie!

    I have commented on your storybook before, but I never got the chance to read your last story. For episode 3, I loved what you did with the setting. Everything about the story fit really well with everything else and I loved it. Endor is also my favorite planet and is so iconic in the series so I am happy that you were able to bring it to life in your storybook. Also, Chewies crossbow was my favorite weapon as a kid, but picturing him wielding the Pinaka fits so well that I was not even mad. I also love the visuals you used to describe the setting. I know there are so many star wars books out there, but I have never gotten the chance to read them. I only know star wars on the screen so I love that you allowed me to read it. Overall, I love your storybook and I think it was so well done! Great job!

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